Late April Monte Report

The reason that the truck went off without being filled to the brim is because I hadn't taken into consideration the matter of the truck's weight limit - and my belongings vastly exceeded that limit. When the rental place suggested that this size truck was adequate for a 2-3 bedroom apartment, I guess they did not imagine a 2-3 bedroom apartment that is bursting at the seems with heavy books. (I think my National Geographics alone would have used up half the weight allowance!)

Anyway, so now it's time for Plan B: moving the rest of my stuff to my parents' house (about an hour away) so I can vacate my apartment. This task begins tomorrow and will likely take 2-3 days if I can manage to make several trips per day in Dad's pickup. My final day in my apartment is May 6, and after that I'll be staying with family for a few weeks, and probably make a few trips to Washington (again in Dad's pickup) to chip away at my mountain of things to be moved. Whatever is left will have to be moved with my parents' stuff when they move to Washington later this summer (after Mom finishes up her radiation treatments, which seem to be going well, and once their house is sold).

Meanwhile, I've been living in an apartment overflowing with boxes, sleeping on the floor because I gave away my mattress. Indeed I've managed to dispose of quite a bit of stuff via Craigslist, including a desk, an entertainment center, a table and a variety of other items large and small that I didn't want to have to move. It feels good "recycling" these things and not just dumping them in the landfill.

On the whole, though, I'm not doing very well. I'm overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of stuff that I own -- I just don't know how it got so out of hand. And yet I can't get myself to throw things away. Plus the transition period between here and Washington is going to be stretched out over a period of around 8 to 10 weeks I would guess, and I'm desperate to get to the far side of this transition. At the same time, I can hardly believe I am leaving: I've lived in this area for twenty years, and I can't help but wonder if I'm making a mistake. But then, I guess I don't really have much of a choice: I can't hold down a job at this point in time, and so moving in with family is really the only option that doesn't involve killing myself. Fortunately, thoughts of suicide are not plaguing me constantly (just little snippets here and there throughout the day). With the amount of stress I'm feeling, I would think it would be much worse - so that's one thing to be thankful for. Still, it's no bed of roses. I spend my days rotating between packing, playing solitaire on my computer, and curling up in a ball in bed (all the while feeling guilty for not getting outside in order to take advantage of the wonderful weather we're having). If not for the fact that my refrigerator is already in Washington I would certainly be binging on ice cream every day too. Right now there's nothing interesting to binge on in my apartment, and I don't have the energy to go into town where my favorite restaurant beckons me to binge on their famous dessert.

On a birdy note to end with, here's a picture of a Wood Duck, a species that I'm blessed with seeing on the river out my window practically every day. (Photo copyright (c) 2007 Ram Vasudev)