Late August Monte Report

This past week things have been trending in a more positive direction. I still feel pretty low, but not as low as I was when I wrote the last Monte Report. Getting out of bed in the morning is still a challenge, and I still spend most of the day wishing it was time to go back to bed. But thoughts of suicide haven't been as much of a problem.

After a year-long sabbatical, I've begun using the Monte Mood Scale again to document my moods. I think this will be helpful as I develop a relationship with my new therapist, and as I work toward that point in time where I'm ready to go back to work. I'm very nervous and scared about going back to work, and it will be helpful to have some "data" to look at that demonstrates my readiness (or lack thereof) to do so.

Because I've been floundering for so long on my current medication regimen, my therapist and I decided the time has come to take me off of Parnate and replace it with something else. I was first put on Parnate when I was in the hospital in 2003, and I'm currently taking a very high dose, so the process of weaning myself off of it will take a while -- probably around nine weeks. During that time it's reasonable to expect that my mood will decline significantly -- but it's a valley that needs to be traversed before I can switch to a new medication.

Now that I've got carpeting in my new place, I've been able to move some of my stuff in. I can't describe what a difference it makes to have bookcases with books in them! Even though 90% of my books are still in storage, just having my favorite ones at hand makes the place feel more like home.

There's nothing else substantial to report, and I can't think of an interesting picture to include, so I'll just leave it at that.