Monte Report for July 2006

As I expected, July turned out to be quite sucky. My trip back East at the start of the month was great fun, but even then things were already starting to slide. While it's always difficult to know the exact effects of particular "psychotropic" medications - especially when you're taking more than one such medication, and/or when one's mood seems to fluctuate wildly anyhow - I would venture to guess that June was a great month largely because of the new medication (Lamictal) that I began in mid-May, and July was a sucky month because I had to stop taking the Lamictal in late June due to the apparent onset of a potentially heinous reaction to the new drug. And so, I muddled through July, knowing that my doctor had other tricks up his sleeve that we could try once the rash (mentioned in the last Monte Report) had cleared up. Knowing that I would soon be trying something new was helpful, and my blue moods weren't exacerbated by the smothering weight of hopelessness. But as the month wore on, my ability to retain any semblance of optimism was eroded. By the time I began the new medication (Depakote) I had been hiding from the world every evening upon leaving work, using a tranquilizer of sorts to numb all thoughts from my head until my alarm went off the next morning. (As of this writing, I haven't been taking the new medication long enough to know if it's helping yet.)

July was not entirely devoid of anything good, however. I mentioned my trip to the East Coast for example. Another huge highlight of the month was, without a doubt, the opportunity I got to babysit a VIB (Very Important Baby). It was a brief event (about two hours) but fun and, I believe, an important milestone for everyone involved (me, baby and baby's Mom & Dad), and I hope that the future holds similar such opportunities.

Less milestone-ish, but mood-boosting to me at least, is the fact that my bird feeders have been attracting scads of Pygmy Nuthatches of late. Their beepity-beep-beep-beeping is a fun audio addition to weekends full of moping at home. (Photo courtesy of USDA Forest Service).

The latest drug that I've been abusing is this stuff called Ebay. It helps me forget my problems, like a real drug, but if I'm careful it won't cost me a fortune and lead me into bankruptcy. So far I've won around three dozen auctions (mostly old bird-related and natural history books), and most of those were well under ten bucks each (I've probably paid more in shipping costs than anything else). Anyhow, it's got me pondering whether there might be a future for me in the land of Ebay - using Ebay as a means to producing an income (buy low, sell high - that sort of thing), if in the long run I am unable to continue with the typical job thing (the nine-to-five, Monday through Friday, thing). We'll see. It's just a thought.

Otherwise, I've been doing my best to try some new things, to keep the creative juices flowing in terms of figuring out just what it is that will help me stay happy. For example, I got up early one week-day morning, went to the beach and spent a couple hours building a sand castle. I then went in to work about a half hour before my shift started, and used the shower there to wash off the sand and salt. I've also spent several afternoons at the beach with friends over the past few weeks. I have continued to have regular dinners (with plenty of good conversation) at Saturn at least once a week. Exploring Ebay is also part of this effort to broaden my horizons. Also on the internet I am dabbling into the "Where's George?" phenomenon, something that heretofore has been incredibly annoying to me for some reason. Perhaps obviously it would do me well to focus my efforts on pursuing activities that involve intellectual interaction with others (rather than staring at my computer screen so much), and I agree. But that's so much easier said than done.

So, what's in store for August? Hopefully this new medication will kick my ass in gear and I'll have a great month - the dishes will finally get done, the laundry will get done, the trash and recycling will go away, and I'll have lots of fun social interactions. Maybe I'll even do some real birdwatching. And perhaps this cute little puppy (he's actually around 12 years old) will get an honorable mention in my next report for kicking off a string of good days (or weeks) (or months) for me . . .