Late December Monte Report

Nothing much to report in this edition of The Monte Report. I'm slowly getting used to my new position at work, but it's still causing me some stress. This stress may be contributing to the doldrums I seem to be in these days. Fortunately, my direct supervisor is very supportive and helpful. Weekends continue to be challenging -- I spent thirteen hours in bed last night (today being Sunday), and still I felt the need to take a nap this afternoon.

There really isn't anything else to report.

Here's a quote from Dr. Allen's Coping With Depression:

"Many persons find their depression bewildering; they give some reasons for their depression but protest: "That's no reason to be this depressed!" As a starting point in recovery, it's helpful to make sense of the depression. The depth of the developmental roots can be obscure."

I feel as though I ought to spend more time pondering the "developmental roots" of my depression. Where did it come from? And why don't I have more power over it, especially after all the time, effort and money I've thrown at it over the years? Am I really doomed to be depressed forever? Or will understanding my depression lead to its disempowerment? Should I just be grateful for the incremental improvements I've seen over the past few years, and be patient with the slow pace of these improvements? Maybe I am being too impatient with myself . . .